Heaven or Hell
by Yerron Yerrown
Summary: A different view of the Juliette/Avery breakup and their reconciliation including the Jeff incident. In the series there are a number of incidents or interpretations that are completely ignored of take in their simplest context. Taken in conjunction with the rest of the story they could lead to outcomes and conclusions that could be very different
1. Chapter 1

**Heaven or Hell.**

All characters borrowed from the TV series Nashville.

This is a different view of the Juliette/Avery breakup including their reunion and the Jeff incident. In the television series there are a number of situations and interpretations that are completely ignored or taken in their simplest context Taken in conjunction with the rest of the story outcomes and conclusions could be very different.

**Heaven or Hell.**

Avery was standing inside the door. He had challenged her for the truth and she poured her heart out to him. Letting him know it was true…she was trying to mask the expected future pain because she thought he was going to leave her for Scarlett. Her insecurities were to blame but that was no reason. Now her heart was in agony…a deep searing ache in her chest. She was desperate to convince him, clutching for anything so he would forgive her...give her another chance. Bring back that love they shared…that perfect love...the love she always thought was a divine gift. She knew she would never know a love like that again…not without him. She, in her anger, her stupidity, her lack of faith, her paranoia had destroyed it all. She betrayed him, she betrayed herself but worst of all she had betrayed them.

Seeing the pain in his face wracked her with guilt. Their love was so wonderful, what had come over her…what would become of her? How could she have doubted what was between them? Searching, trying to find those words that would move him. She could not think.

Rayna advised telling it all to him but her prepared confession was gone…lost in a mental confusion when he already knew…he was angry…she groped for the right response…he was harsh, severe…ignoring her pained regrets …over-riding her pleas… she panicked…nothing registered…desperation. She could only beg for his compassion. "Please, oh please," she cried. "Don't make me be alone again." Tears streaming down her face she turned towards him in a forlorn hope.

There was no doubt her pleading had touched him. He was crying as intensely as she was. He was told she had slept with another man…not just any man but Jeff Fordham…the man Avery most despised. How could she do this? "Oh god Juliette," he said, "this hurts so much. How could you be so cruel? I loved you with everything I had…wasn't that enough? How could you betray us? God no! I can't think...I don't know…I'm crushed. Why...Why…What had I ever done to make you do this?"

"You've done nothing, you were wonderful. Everything is my fault. I hate myself. I don't think I will ever get over what I have done. Oh Avery! I truly love you so much. I am so, so sorry."

"No, don't say that. Love, you don't know the word. You have never been in love and when you do find love you have no idea how to return it." He tried to conceal his pain with anger and attacked her, "I would never do that to you. You never hurt the people you love. Never! Do you understand? You used to say our love was perfect. Well, how do you describe it now? Still think it's a gift from heaven? No, more like hell because that's where I am, in hell. God! This is agony. Heaven doesn't do this."

He crossed in front of her and sat in a chair.

He put his face in his hands…she could see his shoulders heaving. He was still crying. She placed her face in her hands as well, crying with a wrenching intensity.

She had no idea how long they were like that, but it was a long time…an hour she guessed maybe more. She heard him clear his throat and sigh. She lifted her face from her hands and looked at him. He had not stopped crying, his eyes red and his face as streaked as hers.

"I can't think," he said, trying to fathom some conclusion. "It's all too much…I need to get my mind right…calm down…think what is best…what can be done. This is going to take time, a lot of time. I'm just going to need time."

"Yes," she said, "I understand. Take time…as much as you need. I'll wait for you, for as long as it takes. But please remember…I really love you so much and I will forever."

He took her into his arms and held her, turning his head into her shoulder. She held him the same way...head to shoulder. A sudden fear gripped her. "Please God," she prayed to herself, "Please God, don't let this embrace be his last goodbye."

After too brief a time he slowly released her. "This will take time…a lot of time," confused, he repeated himself, "maybe…I don't know." Then he was gone.

All she could do was curl up on the couch and cry and cry for what she had done to herself, for the pain she caused him and for their love.

She had two commitments she needed to fill. Rayna had a concert the next evening at LP Field and a business meeting with Glenn and Emily the following afternoon. After that she would shut herself away from the world and wait, forever if necessary until she heard from him.

Rayna came into her dressing room at the concert. "I hurt him real bad," Juliette told her and began to cry, "He may never be back. God this hurts."

"Look," Rayna said, "Don't go on if you're not up for it."

"No," she said. "I have to be professional. This is for you. We need this album to sell."

Just then Bucky Dawes' head appeared around the door. "Jeff's here to see you if it's a good time."

. "Now would be excellent," Rayna said.

"Well, look at this," Juliette said. "Jeff Fordham."

Sarcastically Fordham addressed Juliette, "I just wanted to let you know I really enjoyed myself the other night at that BMI party." He had an evil little sneer on his face.

"Well, I was very, very drunk and I don't remember much," Juliette answered. "But I do remember it was the worst one and a half minutes of my life. By the way, you don't have to worry about blackmailing me anymore Jeff. Avery knows and he is very hurt, so that should make you happy. You can also take satisfaction that your nasty little scheme has probably ruined my life as well. But that blackmailing thing, that just made you so obvious. Did you plan it beforehand or did it just pop into that ugly little head of yours when you figured I'd be too drunk to know what was going on? I can't believe it happened. Just thinking about it makes my skin crawl. It's a kindness I don't remember much about it. You're disgusting on every level." Fordham just grunted in reply.

She took the stage with Rayna and they sang a duet. Ironically, the song was about a boy who was not going to change. Juliette was reminded of Avery and hoped the song was not some kind of bad omen. No! She had to have faith.

The remainder of the night was a blur. She had a weight in her chest that was just becoming worse. She sat in front of the television. The news featuring the night's concert was on but she was oblivious to it. She did not care. Not eating, even alcohol did not interest her. Perhaps an occasional coffee that was all. Everything was just going through the motions.

Her mind was consumed with Avery and their heart wrenching night. She could not count how many times she picked up her phone to contact him but had to resist. How her heart leapt with anticipation when it rang. What was she going to do if he never returned…if he could not forgive her…if he would not give her another chance? She really would not want to live. She felt as if someone had fed her some sort of love narcotic and now she had tried it, she could not quit.

The first rays of sunlight were coming through the windows when she went to bed. She didn't sleep, she just cried into her pillow. There was nothing to face in the day. Bed was as good as anywhere.

She could hear this knocking…the front door she realized. "Juliette, Juliette," she could hear Emily. Then she heard a key in the lock.

"Juliette," Emily was in the bedroom now. "It's 2.30. We're having a meeting. Glenn will be here in a minute.

"Go away, leave me alone."

"Juliette, what's the matter. Are you ill?"

"No. I just want to stay here."

"Come on, you have to get up," Emily said. She pulled back the covers and helped Juliette into a bath robe.

Barefoot, Juliette padded into the living room. "Are you sure you're alright?" You look dreadful," Emily asked.

"I'll be alright. Can you get me a cup of coffee…very strong coffee?"

Just then Glenn arrived. "Good grief Juliette, you look terrible. What's happened? Are you ill?"

"I'm alright Glenn. Can we just drop it?"

"I'm afraid not Juliette. You are not alright. It's 2.30 in the afternoon and you're still in your bathrobe. You look like you haven't had any sleep for a week. Your eyes seem like they're about to fall out of your head and your face looks like you've been crying for days."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I'm sorry but I won't leave it there. I'm your manager and it's my job to look after you. Now you let me know what's going on or we're going to the hospital."

Juliette broke down. She sat on the couch crying. "Oh god! Why am I so stupid? Why do I do these things to myself? I don't know what to do. I can't fix this."

"Tell me Juliette. We can work this out together."

"I went to the BMI party the other night. I got really, really drunk because I thought Avery was going back to Scarlett. Anyway, I got talking to Jeff Fordham and before I realized what was happening we were having sex in a back room."

Glenn was gob-smacked. He and Emily simultaneously breathed, "Oh Avery."

"Someone must have seen us because they told Avery. I have hurt him so badly. I don't think he'll be coming back and I don't know what to do. I can't live without him. I love him so much."

Glenn put his arms around her, "my dear, dear, girl. You punish yourself and you never need to. You have so many who care about you. He was the best thing you have ever had in your life. Let's work on it. Let's try and see what can be done. It might not be too late. Now please get dressed we need to see a doctor."

Glenn took Emily aside while Juliette was dressing. "It might be a good idea if you moved in with her for a while. I don't like that 'I can't live without him' comment. She just might be bad enough to harm herself. You can always call on Bo as well if you need to."

A course of sedatives from the doctor had Juliette sleeping and resting much better. However her depression and heartache for Avery was becoming worse in Glenn's observations. During the day she just rested on the couch in the living room and stared out the window. She kept her phone beside her and if it rang she snatched it up immediately to see who was calling. Occasionally she would suddenly cry from heartache and she rarely bothered to change out of her bathrobe.

It had now been four weeks since her breakup with Avery. Juliette was still in obvious pain. A slightly bent over posture with her arms holding her upper abdomen. She looked at Glenn. "Do you think a person can die from a broken heart? I would never have thought so, but now I believe it. This pain…it just gets worse and worse. God I miss Avery so much. I would give anything just to hear his voice."

Glenn placed an arm around her shoulders. "Whatever you do, don't ring him. You must give him the space. Contacting him before you hear from him might undo any progress that has been made. Perhaps we can make you an appointment with a psychiatrist. They may be able to help with this love obsession you have."

"No! Not that," she looked at him fearfully, she almost looked terrified. "I will never stop loving him. I can't do it. What if he wants us together again? I don't even want to risk changing that. I want to be just the same for him."

Glenn thought for a while. "I might call on Deacon and Scarlett. They're in pretty close contact with Avery. I could get them to call in. They might at least let you know what he is up to."

She started crying again. "Oh Glenn, would you please do that. I really need to know and I would love to talk to them."

Later at Deacon's house, "Hi Glenn, come in. I thought you might call sooner or later."

"Deacon, it's been a while. It's good to see you. Hi Scarlett, I'm glad you're here as well because I wanted to see both of you."

"You've got the same problem we have by the look of things," Deacon said. "I guess I don't need to be a genius to know why you're here. Actually, you just beat us by about an hour. We were about to call on you."

"I'm really worried about Juliette. She's a mess and I really think she's getting worse. She's not much better than a zombie. Sitting on her couch, staring out the window, crying…it's tragic to see it. Emily is staying with her and looking after things. I thought she'd start to get over it by now but as I said, she's just getting worse. I've never heard of something like this. She must have been completely devoted to him. I think the main problem is…she doesn't want to get over him."

"That pretty much describes Avery as well. For the first two weeks he was drunk. I've never known him to have more than two beers at a time but his apartment was a mess. Empty bottles everywhere, nothing cleaned, things just scattered all over the place. Scarlett was going around and cleaning up for him. She tried to snap him together but he just wasn't interested. He hasn't been into the Bluebird since it happened. We got Gunner to fill in for him. Now he just sits and stares. A zombie, that's a pretty accurate description for him as well and tragic is the right word. I think you might have something though, I don't think he wants to get over her either."

"I did think," Glenn said, "that maybe one or both of you could go and have a chat with Juliette but if Avery is as bad as she is then that's probably not a good idea…hearing that might make her worse."

"I wonder," Scarlett said, "if it would help if they spoke to each other."

"That might be worth a try," Glenn said. "But Juliette won't ring him. She's scared she could upset something. She does sit right next to her phone though, hoping he will ring her."

"I'll go and see him," Scarlett said, "I'll coax him into calling her."

"Let's hope it helps," Glenn said.

Glenn got back to Juliette's and told Emily what they had decided. Emily gave him a brief nod and small smile. She obviously agreed with the idea. Juliette had not moved from where she was when he left to see Deacon.

Her ring tone, 'Trouble is' suddenly broke the tension. Just hearing Juliette singing the song, even on her cell phone seemed to ease the mood for Glenn and Emily.

Juliette looked at the name on the screen. As soon as she read his name she sobbed from deep inside "Oh Avery." She was terrified of what he might say to her and Glenn could read her anguish. She hesitated for a few seconds and then pressed the answer icon.

"Avery," she said with a choking sob, tears ran down her cheeks.

"Juliette," he answered. He wasn't speaking clearly, she had the impression he was crying as well.

"It's so good to hear from you Avery."

"It's great to hear your voice as well."

"How are you?"

"I'm alive but it hurts so much. It keeps getting worse."

"Yes it does. It hurts a little more every day. It's so hard."

"I miss you Juliette." She could hear him crying as he said it.

"I miss you too Avery and I love you so much." She was sobbing now.

"I love you as well Juliette. But I keep seeing you with that scumbag and his filthy hands on you. It just makes me retch."

"I know it's difficult but please keep fighting it Avery. I will never quit on us. We meant so much to each other. Please keep fighting."

"I will. I'll fight. I won't quit on us. What we had was so good."

"Yes, it was. Avery, can I ring you from time to time. I won't be a nuisance. You can ring me whenever you want."

"Yes Juliette, whenever you want."

"Thank you Avery, I love you."

"Yes Juliette, Thank you. I love you.

The line disconnected. Both Glenn and Emily were crying. Seeing Juliette under such emotion it was impossible not to feel for her.

They both went to her and enfolded her into their arms. They were all crying but at least there was now a light in the distance to aim for.

Unfortunately, bad luck rarely presents itself without a brother and today was Juliette's day for the sibling visit. She was lying in bed feeling quite nauseous, probably just a nervous reaction to her talking with Avery, she expected. She smiled to herself. It was so good to hear his voice and so good to know there was still hope for them. The mental image Avery visualized of her and Fordham would probably have them star crossed, but eventually, she hoped, that could be overcome. They still had feelings for each other, so, anything could be achieved.

She swung her legs over the side of the bed and sat up. Immediately her nausea overtook her. She rushed to the bathroom and threw up. She threw up a second time.

Emily was inside the bathroom, "Juliette," was all she said.

Juliette turned. Her look said it all…a look of pained bewilderment. She threw up again. "It's not possible. It can't possibly be," Juliette said, on the verge of panic. "I'm protected it must be something else, just a bug."

"I'll get some tests. We have to be sure," Emily said.

Juliette sat, just staring at the window in the pregnancy test…the result was not going to change no matter how much she willed it…pregnant.

"Emily," she said, sounding desperate. "What am I going to do? Doesn't morning sickness start at about four weeks? That means Fordham will be the father. This can't be happening. This BMI party situation is turning into the worst kind of nightmare."

"Let's not panic yet. I'll make you an appointment to see your gynecologist. Then we'll take it from there."

Emily returned in five minutes. "You're lucky. They had a cancellation. Your appointment is 2.15 this afternoon.

"Emily," Juliette said. "Lucky, is a word that is in no way appropriate to this situation."


	2. Chapter 2

**Heaven or Hell**

All characters borrowed from the series Nashville.

**Chapter 2.**

The doctor was running pretty much to time and Juliette was thankful. She wanted this issue sorted out as soon as possible.

"So, Miss Barnes what can I do for you?" The doctor queried.

"I've had a positive result to a home pregnancy test so I thought I should see you to confirm it."

"I see, had any bouts of nausea, tiredness?"

"Yes, I was ill this morning. But what I don't understand is, you put me on the quarterly pill yourself and told me at the time it was very reliable. How could I be pregnant?"

"Well yes, that is true, it is very reliable but it's not foolproof however. There are certain medications that will react with it. Have you been on any antibiotics recently?"

"No."

"Any other medications that you do not normally take?"

"Well," Juliette said, thinking back. "There was a period a few weeks ago when I was getting a lot of negative press. My doctor put me on some anti anxiety drug for a while."

"Yep," the doctor said, "that'll do it. We had better get you around to medical imaging for an ultrasound."

A short while later Juliette was back in the doctor's office. "Well, Miss Barnes," the doctor said after studying the ultrasound images, "you are certainly pregnant. About six weeks I would say."

Juliette snapped, "Six weeks are you sure? No chance it could be four weeks?"

"No! No possibility it could be four weeks. A minimum of six weeks possibly a little over that."

"Oh doctor you don't know how happy you have made me."

"Well, pregnancy is something to look forward to. I'm pleased you are so positive. Now we'll set up a series of appointments and get you organized. There is quite a bit to do and tests to set up."

Driving home Juliette was so relieved. If this had been Fordham's baby she would have lost all hope with Avery. She would have seriously considered abortion despite being a dedicated opponent of the practice. This is such a relief. There are still many problems to overcome, even with Avery being the father. However it was so comforting to know that what is growing inside her is half Avery and conceived from their love. She ran her hand across her stomach. "It will be alright baby, it will be alright."

When she arrived home she left her car in the driveway, not even taking the time to park it in her garage. The best thing that happened to her in the past few weeks was talking to Avery yesterday. This baby idea was starting to grow on her, she had to admit this was the next best and she wanted to share it. Emily was in the kitchen preparing their evening meal.

"Well, we were right I am pregnant. The best part is its Avery's. I know this is still going to be complicated but at least I feel much better about it."

"Well congratulations. Are you going to tell him?"

"Of course I will. The question is when. I can't tell him now…it's too early. We have only spoken once. But I will tell him, I just need to find the right time. I just hope it doesn't scare him off."

She picked up her phone. "I might give him a quick call though."

It was great to hear his voice.

She had told him how she felt yesterday. That had been a very emotional phone call for her. She had been missing him and their love for nearly a month. She couldn't help herself, she had to tell him. The only negative on the whole call was his admission to his visualizing her and Fordham. That did concern her but they may be able to overcome that in the future.

Today they just chatted she had missed a couple of tour dates over the last month because she had been not feeling the best. Now she still had two to finish her tour then she would direct her energies to her next project. She deliberately avoided asking him to play guitar for her. As much as she would have loved to have his skills backing her she knew it was much too early for that.

Avery let her know he went back to work at the Bluebird last night. It wasn't a minute too soon. He hadn't had any income for a month and he was flat broke. Deacon and Gunner wanted him in a band they had set up and they had a few gigs to play. Things were getting better for him.

She disconnected. The conversation, it seemed to her was more like two friends talking than the emotions they shared the previous night. She couldn't deny, she still loved him as much as she ever had but it seemed to her he had reservations. That was OK. This would take a while to overcome. Patience is what was needed. They were talking comfortably and that was very positive.

Two days later she had a phone call from Rayna.

"Juliette, I was hoping you could come into the Highway 65 offices tomorrow at about 10.30 AM." She sounded agitated.

"I can be there Rayna should I ask Glenn?

"That could be a good idea.

"What's wrong Rayna? You sound upset."

"I'm OK."

"Alright but what's it about?"

"I'll talk to you tomorrow but I need to ask you something else. I know the situation between you and Avery is a little strained right now but I would like to have him there as well. How will that sit with you?"

"Actually, that might work out pretty well for me. We've been talking by phone for most of the past week and we seem to be going OK up to this point. It might be a good thing if we see each other just to see how it goes. This might be the ideal opportunity."

"It's funny you say that. That's almost exactly what he said as well. See you tomorrow."

Juliette picked up her phone, she hadn't spoken to Avery today. She was about to call him when her phone rang in her hand. It was Avery.

"Hey Avery, you just beat me. I had my phone in my hand to call you."

"Hi Juliette, you sound good."

"You too Avery, it's good to hear from you."

You got a phone call from Rayna I'm guessing."

"Yes. We are going to see each other for the first time since…,"she let the ending trail off.

"Yes…since then," he said softly. "How do you feel about that?"

"I think it should be OK. It will be good to see you."

"Yes, it will be the same for me as well. Will you be comfortable?"

"I think so," Juliette said. "I mean how much trouble can we get in? We will meet, maybe sit next to each other. None of that is beyond my tolerance. How about you?"

"Yep, well I can handle all of that without a problem."

"Avery, do you know what the meeting is about?" Juliette asked.

"No I don't but I do know Bucky will be there. Deacon hasn't told me anything but I think he is very worried for Rayna."

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yes, till tomorrow."

Juliette rang Glenn to advise him about the meeting at Highway 65 and settled in for an evening of small talk with Emily.

She guessed, when she woke the next day, she would need to get used to this morning sickness. "Just our baby saying hello mommy," she thought and smiled to herself when she settled down.

Avery was in the Highway 65 waiting room when they arrived.

"Hello Juliette, pleased to see you." he said and hugged her gently. His contact was polite, conventional.

"Avery, yes, I'm glad to see you.

They sat together on the couch. Now she was actually beside him. She loved him so much it ached. She had to get them worked out somehow.

"Thank y'all for coming," Rayna said. "I'm just going to throw all the cards on the table. There is no sense in trying to paint a pretty picture here. If I knew when I started this Company what I know now Highway 65 would have never existed. Seems a factual statistic is, that of all new businesses that start up, ninety five percent of them don't last five years. Now, if Edgehill finds out what I'm about to tell you, they'll eat us alive. This information must not leave this room…OK?" Rayna looked around the room and everyone nodded their agreement. Rayna continued, "The fact is Highway 65 will not even see out its first year. We are virtually completely broke. We maybe have a couple of months…tops. I was hoping I would get a settlement from Daddy's estate, and that would save the company since I'm a beneficiary, but that's not going to happen. Not soon enough at any rate. Seems he was worth so much it will take years to finalize his financial affairs. I'm desperate. A lot of good people who had faith in us are going to be out of work if this goes down. I will be bankrupt. I'll lose everything. My kids and I will not have a house. It will be all gone. We lost a lot of money on Scarlett. Will was stolen off us and my album did not do as well as we needed. Now we're in a lot of trouble."

"God damn," Avery muttered. "No prizes for guessing why we're here then." Juliette and Glenn looked at him curiously.

"I didn't realize you were so switched on Avery," Rayna said. "I thought you were just a guy who was good at music."

"Yeah well," he said, "that's my dream job. But, the fact is, among my hidden talents, I'm a Business Major from Ole Miss. My post graduate degree specialty was insolvencies. My father insisted you see."

Rayna looked at Bucky, "Oh Bucky, maybe there is a god."

"Rayna," Avery said. "There is a lot more to saving a Company than praying. God doesn't help much as a rule. It requires a very specific skill set and a lot of nous that not many have. Then again some companies are just too far gone and cannot be saved in any case. If you'd like though I am happy to have a look at your situation."

"Yes please," Rayna said.

"OK," Avery said, "First up I'm going to need to see aged debtors and creditors statements, current month. Your Profit & Loss since you started and a current Balance Sheet."

"Bucky," Rayna asked, "Could you go down to accounts and get those for us?"

Juliette leaned across to Avery, "Avery, this is so good. I don't know what language you're speaking but I'm very impressed." She stroked his arm.

"Now Rayna," Avery continued. "I expect we're here because you thought Juliette and I could make you an album and with luck it could save the company?"

"That was the plan. You and Juliette are the only two people in Nashville who would have a chance to do it."

"Well, if that's the plan it's not a good one. By the time that album is ready for sale the company will be long gone," Avery said.

"Come on Avery," Rayna said, "we still have a couple of months. You could knock something up in that time."

"No I couldn't Rayna," Avery said. Rayna could see he had definite ideas on what could or could not be done, crap was not part of the program. "I can see we're going to need some ground rules if you want our help. I think I can speak for Juliette here." Juliette just nodded and held her hands up in submission. "Now," he continued. "I know Juliette and I have some problems to work through and there are issues we need to address and resolve but the fact is, we are friends and she is not going to turn out some shoddy, slapdash, rubbish if I've got a say in it…and I want the say…I have full control of the production and recording of this album. Are you OK with that?" Rayna just nodded in agreement. "If this is done right we can send it platinum."

Suddenly Juliette realized she never knew this man. He was always quiet, reserved, considered. This assertion, she had never even seen an inkling of it in him before. He used to be so self conscious if she bought him anything. He looked on it like it was charity from her. He used to tell her he didn't need it. She thought she was helping, money was no object, she could afford it and she wanted to make things easier for him. All of a sudden she thought, "He probably never did need it. He probably has the skills to get whatever he wants. What he had is what he chose to have." There was nothing ostentatious about him. He was no Charlie Wentworth, needing to show himself off to the world. This man was supremely confident in his skills and abilities. He fitted the type described by some of her powerful past acquaintances -An operator. If anyone could help here it was going to be him.

Bucky got back from accounts. "Mike will have that stuff ready for you tomorrow Avery."

"Will he? Tell that lazy prick to get up here now…right now."

The Finance Manager knocked on the door.

"Mike is it?" Avery extended his hand. "You're the Finance Manager?

"Yes, I am"

"Pleased to meet you. I'm Avery and I'm your new boss."

"Pardon?"

"You heard me."

"Do you have a job title?"

"Actually, no," Avery said, "but let's think one up. How about the guy who kicks your lazy butt into the street. That sound like a good one to you?"

Mike's mouth fell open, Juliette was fascinated. Rayna and Bucky both did a double take. Glenn had a huge grin on his face. Avery was all business, no beg pardons here.

"Now Mike, does Rayna give you a company car?"

"Yes."

"Not anymore. Tonight you can walk home. You'll get the car back when you prove to me you're worth it. Leave the keys with Bucky. Every morning at 9 AM I want to see right here on this table, Current Aged debtors, Aged Creditors, Daily Cash Flow statement with current bank statement attached and full listing of all receipts and payments from the previous day. Also not one cent…you get that…not one cent gets spent without my authorization. Not Rayna's or Bucky's authorization, only mine. You got that? Break that rule and I'll break your neck throwing you out the door. That stuff Bucky wanted, I want it on this table at 1PM. If it's not here and I have to do it myself you're gone. Now, I'm taking this lady and gentleman for a lunch meeting and I want those reports when I get back, no excuses…clear? By damn Mike, if you're the Finance Manager you're going to start doing the job if you want to keep working here. Goddamn, no wonder this place is on the skids."

"Good God," Bucky said," who are you? Jean Paul Getty?"

"Not yet, but give it time," Avery said. "We still have to go over the finances but that's this afternoon. Right now Juliette, Glenn and I are out for lunch. Oh, and Bucky could you make an appointment for me to see the Business Manager at the bank this afternoon and organize some bank account authorization forms? Thanks."

They were walking towards the elevator. Juliette could not take her eyes off Avery. He saw she wasn't watching where she was walking and offered her his elbow…just like he used to when they were friends from before.

She immediately took his arm so tightly she pressed his tricep into her breast. "Avery I could not believe what I saw in there. You were like a different person."

"No, no different," he said. "It's just business. There's no room for emotions in business; it's only about the money and the company. There is too much, and too many, depending on the decisions to let them get clouded."

"I found it all very exciting Avery. Would you let me be with you for the rest of the day? I want to see more."

"OK."

They stepped into the elevator. "Why did you attack that man? You had never met him."

"I think that's funny Juliette, You wondering about attacking someone for no reason."

"Well," Juliette said, "I'm hoping you can teach me something here."

"I attacked him because he was a lazy prick. That stuff I asked for he should have had on hand. Even then if you keep good books it should take no more than fifteen minutes to get."

"That was amazing. I have a whole new respect for you."

"Can I ask you something?" Glenn asked.

"Sure." They were in the restaurant, he just ordered an open sandwich.

"Obviously you are very skilled at business. You could probably be a millionaire. How come…this?" He gestured with his hands and shrugged his shoulders.

"That was my father's idea as well, the millionaire part. He owns a lot of businesses back home. He planned for me to take them over. That's how come my degree but I wanted to play music. We have trouble seeing eye to eye because of that," Avery explained. "For me though, money is a long way from where it's at Glenn. I have different priorities." He looked at Juliette. "But right now we need to plan this album. We can use Juliette's studio but we have to make sure it's clear. Could you take care of that Glenn? If anyone is using it organize times for them at other studios. Juliette, you and I will need to meet ASAP to start and put this thing together."

"Would you like to come around to my place tonight and we can start. I can prepare a meal for us."

"Hmmm," Avery thought aloud. "OK I guess that would be alright."

"Good, I'll cook up my specialty."

"Macaroni?"

"Yes."

Avery smiled at her. "OK, I've had that before. It tastes a lot better than it looks." She poked her tongue out at him.

"Right, now let's back to business." Avery said. "Now Glenn if we can leave you to take care of the studio we'll go back to Highway 65 and see if we can find some more money from somewhere so we have time to finish this project."

Back in the offices Mike had managed to get the information Avery needed and on time as well. "Is there anything else…um…err," Mike was trying to put a title on Avery.

"Avery is just fine Mike."

"I did want to ask though Avery if it's not out of line. The nine deadline for those daily reports. I don't start until 8.30. I won't have sufficient time to prepare them."

"I see Mike, you're a manager, can you think of a solution to that problem?"

"I start earlier."

"There you go Mike. Now you're thinking like an executive."

Rayna and Bucky took up seats at the table. Avery ignored them for a few minutes so he could study the reports.

"Well Rayna," Avery said. "Your company structure is like a death trap waiting to happen. You have a straight loan for fifteen million dollars."

"Yes," said Rayna. "My sister Tandy set that up for me. She was daddy's Executive Officer.

"Well, looking after a company worth hundreds of millions of dollars is nowhere like setting one up that only has debts. That loan, on its own, will finish you. It's completely nuts. You can't generate enough income to service a loan of that size. You are going to have to find some artists long term. But in the meantime I'll talk to the bank about a restructure."

"Now, we need to generate some income and I know just the thing," Avery said. "You shelved Juliette's 'Don't put dirt on my grave.'"

"Yes, well the local labels didn't think it was appropriate."

"Now, Juliette," he asked her. "I know we haven't discussed the new album, but I'd like to see that song on it. How do you feel about that?"

"Yes, it fits my preliminary idea perfectly."

"Good now that song is ready to go. We should release it as a lead single. It's a certain number 1. That should generate a few dollars."

"I don't know about the other labels," Rayna said.

"Well," Avery said, "you either release it or ask the other labels for the money. I know where your best chance is though."

"Alright Avery," Rayna said. "It's only taken me a couple of hours but I do know my best choice is go with you."

"OK Rayna. I'll go to the bank and get that part sorted out. I'll give you a ring and let you know what's happened. After that Juliette and I will be starting work on the new album."

The bank was surprisingly easy. As it was, the manager was a huge Juliette Barnes fan and so were his children. He just melted when she came in with Avery. Juliette promised him personal autographed copies of all her albums. Avery, in restructure mode, converted the fifteen million loan to a line of credit plus an extra three million at the same interest rate. Now regular payments were not necessary, the account balance now floated up to the eighteen million dollar limit. He did the authorizations as well. He was now the principle account operator.

Rayna nearly fell off her chair when he told her.

After the meal Juliette and Avery settled into old habits from before. The timeline was referred to as before or after and always with a noticeable measure of regret.

"Here we are," Juliette said, "Settled back with that favorite red wine just like…before. You haven't been here since then have you?"

"No, I haven't," he said. "I've missed what we had then. But it's just so hard for me. I don't know if we will ever get back to what we had…before. Maybe we will never get past being good friends."

Her eyes watered, "I hope we can Avery. I miss us so much I sometimes get desperate."

He felt a lump forming in his throat. He changed the subject, "So you said you had a preliminary idea on what you wanted this new album to be. Does that mean you know the songs you want or do you have a theme you want to follow?"

"Both," she said. "I have thought very hard about this album and I hoped that one day we would be working together again. You're the only one it will work with"

He had this nervous feeling of apprehension, he was not sure he should pursue the subject any further but he was maneuvered into a corner. He had to ask her, it was the album, it could not be avoided.

Quietly he asked, but he was sure he knew the answer, "What's your theme?"

She put her glass of wine on the table. She stood right in front of him and took his face in her hands. In a voice barely above a whisper she said, "Us."

He was about to speak but she looked into his eyes and said, "Wait, there's more yet. I want 'A life that's good' on it and 'Everything I need.' I want to do both as duets, you and me." She put her arms around his head and pulled him against her breasts.

"Oh Juliette," he said with tears in his eyes, "I don't think I can do it. It would cause too many memories, too many images. It would be too difficult…too painful. Worse I would see you and him. That haunts me and I can't bear it."

She sat back on the couch, turned towards him. "That's it for you isn't it? That image of Fordham and me you have in your head? I love you more than anything, I love you with every ounce I have. You are the only man I have ever loved and the only man I ever want to love. I know you love me as well but your love is different. We are never going to get back like we were. Whenever you look at me, no matter how much you think you love me, you will always see that visualization you imagine and be reminded that I was unfaithful and betrayed you. You can accept us as friends but only friends. Your love is not really love…you love me like a friend and that's all we will ever be to you. As long as we're friends you can accept us together but you can never give anything more. That's why this album would be so difficult for you,"

"I can't help it. I can't stop it. It's always there. I can't bear it. You are right, it will forever be between us"

Juliette thought for a while. "I understand, I have never been more ashamed of anything in my life. I see me and him as well and it disgusts me. He is the most revolting human I can imagine. But you need to know, our mental pictures are very different. You imagine what happened based on what you were told, I know what happened, I was there."

She paused for a few minutes, considering whether or not to take her most desperate action. If she goes down this path there would be no turning back. It could make the situation between them even worse. He may find the whole situation so intolerable he leaves her life for ever. On the other hand she may be able to convince him of what she had come to understand and accept…the meaning and solution of this rift between them. Why it happened and how it was a lesson for both of them to learn. Full acceptance would reinforce their relationship, bring them together like before and make them stronger into the future.

She could elect to do nothing, but as she thought that through she realized long term, that could bring unbearable unhappiness. He would still have the pain that haunted him. She would know that friends were all they could be. But eventually he would need more than that and would likely find someone else. Under that scenario he would be lost to her forever. So that was her choice…risk losing him now or most likely definitely lose him in the future. The upside was by taking the chance now she may have him forever in the relationship she dreams of. No real choice…she had to take the risk.


	3. Chapter 3

**Heaven or Hell**

All characters borrowed from the TV series Nashville

**Chapter 3**

"Avery, can I ask you an important question?"

"Important?"

"Yes, vitally important."

"OK."

"That night at the BMI party who told you and what did they tell you?"

"Gunner. He said you and Fordham came out of a back room. You were very disheveled and you obviously had slept together."

"I see. That's all he said."

"Isn't that enough?"

"Actually, no it isn't. It's nowhere near enough. I wish he just told you to ask me instead of trying to be the good friend. There's a lot more to the story than that and you need to know it."

"No Juliette, you don't have to say anymore. It would be too painful to relive…for both of us"

"I'm sorry Avery I do have to tell you. The fact that you don't understand is the reason for most of this pain. I have to tell you. I must tell you. I should have done this much earlier. You remember the night of Deacon's event where you played that song you wrote for me?" Avery nodded.

"You probably didn't know because Deacon stopped me before I got into the hall. I was there and I was hopelessly drunk. I wanted to create a scene so Rayna would fire me from her label. I had already been to her house earlier in the day begging to have my contract cancelled."

"What?" Avery was clearly confused. "Why in god's name would you want to do that?"

"It will become clear but I was desperate even though I knew it wouldn't really help me. I was panicking and I didn't know what I could do."

Juliette continued, "After Deacon's show Rayna came to my house. I was a mess but I told her about Fordham. She said I had to confess to you before you found out from someone else. I wanted to explain what happened to you and I had everything prepared so you would know the true story. But Gunner had told you what he saw. You were so angry and in so much pain it tortured me. I lost everything. I was so desperate to let you know how much I loved you and how much I hated what happened I couldn't think. I was so busy begging you to forgive me I forgot everything I wanted to say. But now I have to tell you what I should've told you then."

"This whole thing was actually caused and started with Scarlett's breakdown and it deteriorated from there. I know now she should not have been on the tour. I didn't know she broke down at a Luke Wheeler concert. Rayna and Deacon knew though and should have kept her in Nashville. Rayna was in such desperate financial straits she had you and Scarlett making an album in the middle of the tour, so I lost my band leader and lead guitarist. It was crazy. It was much too much. She was completely overloaded. The fact was, which I didn't understand at the time, she was exhausted and running on pills. When she said to me she didn't want to go on I didn't know her condition. I just thought it was stage fright. She had been sent there to be the opening act, she could just…not go on. What are the fans supposed to do? I realized that her mother was driving her nuts but before I could do anything about it she had that breakdown. What made it worse, I was as worried about her as everyone else and I wanted to help but I wasn't allowed. We came back in my plane, my car was right there when we landed but I was ignored. I tried to tell Deacon about her mother but he just brushed me off. I wanted to send her to hospital in my car but Rayna told me to go home. Scarlett was clinging to you and I was OK with that. She needed the support. But I was made to feel useless and the cause of Scarlett's problem. That was really unfair. But she needed the attention so I followed what Rayna wanted and I went home."

"I didn't know you were just brushed off like that." Avery said. "That was wrong. You also organized the doctor for her. This was just bad and sloppy. I knew about the album and tour shows obviously but I didn't know all that other stuff was going on with her. You're right; she should not have been there certainly with that workload. That was just wrong of Rayna. I understand why you were upset and it was unfair to blame you."

"When I went to see Scarlett at the hospital," Juliette continued. "She attacked me as well and blamed me for everything. I could not get accepted on any front. Then you came home from the hospital that night and you were worn out. I wanted reassurance from someone and I turned to you. I wasn't fair. You were tired and I should have let you rest. But then we had an argument and you left. I knew I shouldn't be upset with you but I suppose I was stressed and tired like everyone else."

"I knew I was wrong fighting with you, "she said, "so a little while later, probably about an hour I decided to go to your apartment and apologize to you. I had this plan where you could sleep and I would cuddle you all night. "

"You did? You really went to my apartment? I wish you had called I didn't go back there."

"Yes, well, I found that out. You weren't there," Juliette said. "I expected you wouldn't be too long. I thought you might have gone to get some food or something. I knew in the stress of the day you missed most of your meals. So I thought I'd wait. I must have fallen asleep on your couch because next morning I saw you hadn't been home all night."

"I thought as I was already out," she continued, "I would slip past the hospital on the way home and see how Scarlett was."

"You did?" Avery said. It was not apparent to Juliette but Avery was becoming a little uncomfortable.

"I went in the door of Scarlett's room and I didn't expect to see you in the chair beside Scarlett's bed. You were just waking up. You must have spent the night there. I was taken by surprise; I wasn't sure what to do so I stepped back outside the door. I could hear you and Scarlett talking. She seemed to be back to her normal self. I heard her say that she will never love anyone as much as she loved you and you said she would always have a permanent piece of your heart. I wasn't sure if that was a goodbye or not but seeing as she seemed ok I expected you would call around to see me later that day and we could make up for some lost time. So I went home."

Avery did not like the sound of where this was going, he changed his position on the couch.

Juliette went on with the story. "Rayna called me later that morning and told me Scarlett had been given the all clear and Deacon would be around to pick her up when she was discharged. I asked her if I could speak to you and she told me there was no one there when she arrived. Deacon rang me a little after that and told me that Scarlett was home. I assumed that since you had left the hospital I would see you soon. By the time it got to mid afternoon and you had not arrived I started to think that maybe that conversation with Scarlett may not have been intended as a goodbye after all. By late afternoon when you still hadn't arrived I started to think it was intended as some emotional confirmation and the reason I had not seen you was because you were working out how to breakup up with me causing the least amount of pain. I desperately needed reassurance from you. I was really hurting. I thought I was going to lose you. I know now how wrong I was, how we were really deeply in love but at the time I had doubts. I weakened."

Avery squirmed in his seat. The pieces were starting to fall into place and he could see his part in this now. "I thought you would still be mad at me so I stayed at my apartment."

"Oh Avery, I had long forgiven you. I did that within an hour of our argument. I wanted my best friend. The man I loved. After all that had happened the previous two days I needed him. By this time I was distraught. I reasoned since Scarlett was better you would come back to see me. When you didn't I really feared I had lost you. I thought of ringing you but I was afraid what you might tell me. If you wanted to breakup I didn't want to be told on the phone. I would need to be told face to face so I could try to change your mind. I fell back into my old habits. I went to the BMI party to get drunk."

"I got really drunk. I mean really, really drunk. Difficulty walking drunk and Jeff Fordham sat down beside me."

Avery had tears in his eyes," Please stop Juliette. I really have heard enough. You don't need to go on."

"Yes I do. I need to get this filth out of my guts." Her face was hard, her eyes tearing from a raging anger, her voice full of hate. "That filthy bastard defiled me. Used me like dirt, worse than dirt. If I owned a gun I would kill him and happily go to my execution. He wrecked my life. I had the most beautiful life. I had everything I could have dreamed. I had real and true love. He took that off me. He is the lowest form of scum on the planet and should be exterminated."

"Please stop Juliette. This is too much."

"You're only being told about it," she snarled. "How do you think it feels to be part of the main cast? I have to finish now."

"I honestly don't remember how I got into that back room but he was there with me. I remember I was aware of someone kissing me and strangely I thought it was you because you are the only person I kiss. When we broke apart and I saw it was Fordham I couldn't understand how you had turned into him. Then immediately he spun me around so my back was to him. I think I can remember him wedging me against something because I couldn't move. I remember not being able to move. Then he tore my underwear down. I felt this burning, searing pain. Avery, he hurt me so badly. I was very dry but he didn't care. I struggled, I tried to break free but he had me against something and was holding me. I could not move. I was about to scream at him to stop when it was all over. He climaxed. It was over that quickly. I figure only a minute and a half because it couldn't have been any longer. I must have gone into the bathroom and thrown up down my front. It is mostly really a blur. But next morning I knew what happened. I had been sick down my front. My underwear had been ripped and was down around my knees. I must have walked out of there like that. His muck was on my underwear, my legs, in my dress. I have never felt so disgusting in my life. I scrubbed myself for an hour in the bath trying to get it all off. Then you came in next morning and I was so ashamed, so guilty. That's why I couldn't stay with you. Believe me I wanted to more than anything but I didn't feel I deserved you…that I had disgraced you. You thought I was angry. Next time you think of me and Fordham carry that image with you."

Avery was openly crying now. He went in the bathroom and threw up for five minutes. He came back and just took her in his arms and cried into her shoulder.

"Then two days later he used it to blackmail me," she said. Everything out of her mouth was laced with contempt. "If I didn't quit Highway 65 and join Edgehill he was going to tell you. That's why he was making all those calls to you and you thought he was stalking you. That's why you thought I was slipping away. I was desperate to know what to do."

"But, I really think looking back, he did it deliberately," she sneered. "That low life, he saw an opportunity and that I was too drunk to know what was going on. He took advantage of me and used that to try to blackmail me to join Edgehill' He had no reservations about using you, or hurting you in the process. Oh, yes, I'm certain he did it deliberately. That blackmail trick gives him away. That was just too convenient to be anything but intentional."

Avery sat down. He just stared blankly at the window. "Good god. I never dreamed it was like that. That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard of."

He went into the bathroom and threw up again. There was nothing in his stomach so he just dry retched. Then the reality of what had happened really hit him.

"Oh my god," he held her tightly against his chest and cried into her shoulder. She also held him, crying as well. He was agonizing over his lack of consideration of her, his selfish attitude. His arrogance to think he was the only one hurt. What she had suffered was many times worse. She was the victim of an unimaginable indecency and Avery treated her with indifference. She needed him and he ignored her. Now he suffered for her and the pain was unbearable. "What have I done? I was so cruel to you. I hurt you so badly. The things I said. What I have put you through. I didn't even give you a chance to defend yourself. I said you don't know how to love. You are the most loving person I know. You loved me and I do not deserve you. You should hate me for what I did. I have done you a terrible injustice. You never betrayed us…you were a victim and I treated you worse than a criminal. I am so ashamed. I am not anywhere near good enough for you. This was my entire fault. I only needed to call on you that afternoon. I only needed to be home that night. Then this would have never happened to you. I didn't need to be at the hospital. I could have been home. Why did I have to do it? I have failed you so badly. I could easily have called on you that afternoon. When you needed me, I wasn't there for you. The absolute worst is I made you suffer this alone and then I added more cruelties. How did you bear it? You are the bravest, most loyal, courageous woman I know. This is more horrible than anything I can imagine. I can't bear this…the pain is too great…it's too much. I don't want to live with this on my conscience."

He stepped apart from her and walked towards the door. His final comment registered with her. She wasn't sure of his intentions, he was no coward, and then she decided she was not going to take that chance, he seemed to be in a trance.

"Avery," she said. "Avery, where are you going?" "Avery, come back to the couch."

He ignored her. He kept walking to the door. She blocked his path. "Stop, Avery. She was becoming anxious. She physically tried to stop him. Avery, stop." He was too strong for her. He was going to get past.

She panicked, "Bo," she shouted at the top of her voice. She hoped her security guard could hear her from his apartment. "Bo, Bo, stop him."

Suddenly Avery was backing up, dragged by Bo who was only wearing a pair of boxers. He began to fight and struggle against the big man. Bo dragged Avery up with one hand and slapped him across the face with the other. The strike sounded like a whip crack. Bo slapped him again and then dropped him. Avery fell to his knees and then back on his haunches. He stayed there, drooped over, head hanging down, like a piece of meat.

"Bo," Juliette said. "Please put him on the couch and could you just keep an ear open in case I need you again."

Bo placed Avery flat on his back. His face was coloring up where Bo had slapped him. His eyes were fixed on the ceiling. He showed no expression. He looked like someone under the effects of sedatives, doped out, still in his earlier trancelike state.

Juliette knelt beside the couch. She placed her hands under his shoulders and her head on his chest. This man, who had helped her realize how empty she had been before she met him and how he fulfilled her life.

She lay there with her ear to his chest. She could hear his steady breathing hear his heart beating, the heart she wanted him to fill again with his love for her. She would hold this contact until he recovered from this mood or the state he was in. She was not going to let go. He was not going to leave her presence. He was not going to be given the opportunity to endanger himself as she earlier feared.

She wasn't sure how long she had been like this but she was alerted when she felt a hand on her head. "Why are you here?" It was Avery, he was back with her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Heaven or Hell**

All characters borrowed from the television series Nashville.

**Chapter 4**

She lifted her head and looked straight into his eyes. "Now, that is really a stupid question," she said. "Because I love you more than anything or anyone. You are my life".

"Why? I'm nowhere near good enough for you after what I did. You should hate me. I hate myself. I can never be forgiven for what I did. I don't deserve to be forgiven."

"Well, it just so happens in this case it's not you who gets to do the forgiving, it's me and you are forgiven for everything. I forgive you. I forgive you. You are now as pure as freshly fallen snow. Now that is going to cost you a kiss."

"You want a kiss…off me?"

"I certainly do Mr. Barkley and right on the lips."

He raised his head and she leaned forward and kissed him. She knew his kiss and this was only a gesture. Not even half hearted, no emotion, he still blamed himself and was full of grief. She had a theory on this entire conflict. Maybe it might help him if she explained her deductions…the essence of this incident. "Can we talk? There is something I have worked out and I think it would help us both if we shared it."

"Is it anything like that earlier discussion we had because I will tell you straight up, I can't handle another one of those?"

"No, in fact I think I will surprise you with this."

"I know you are the brains of this outfit," she said. "And I am very happy to let you have the job. But just this time I have come up with a piece of philosophy that I think fits us perfectly."

"Wow, philosophy, now, this is impressive. You have my undivided attention."

"Now I know you will think the source is funny but I really want you to pay attention because to me this is really important. You know how I've always been a huge fan of Oprah?"

He smiled broadly. "This is Oprah Winfrey philosophy?"

"No, now come on Avery, I need you to be serious here."

"OK, I'm sorry," he was still smiling. "Go ahead, I'm listening."

"Well I was watching this particular episode of Oprah. This was way back, before I knew you, back when I was confused…a little wild."

Avery nodded.

"Well they had this guy on, he was pretty famous, a professor or something I think and he was talking about love. Now he said something that I never forgot. You know how sometimes you can just see or hear something and you never forget it. It just gets stuck in your mind and you can't shake it loose?"

He said, "That there is no such thing as a perfect guy or a perfect girl but only a less than perfect guy and a less than perfect girl can make a perfect love."

"I have always said we have a perfect love. Sometimes you thought I was a little carried away, a little too romantic but I have never felt more comfortable with anyone than I have with you. I love you with the deepest part of me and I know for a fact you felt the same. Just now, I know all that has happened has you a little confused but stick with me, it will make sense."

"Ever since I saw that Oprah program I looked for that guy I could build that love with. I could never find him. I really wanted to find love. It was something I'd never had in my entire life. I used to think there was something wrong with me, that no one wanted me. Pretty much every guy I tried to love lied to me. Eventually I gave up. I didn't believe love existed."

"Then I met you at that award concert and we sat and talked on those stairs. I remember I was drunk and I propositioned you. I was nowhere near as drunk though as I was at that BMI party with Jeff. What did you do? You were the gentleman. You would not take advantage of me. To the best I can remember that had never happened to me before. I could not forget you. I knew you were special. I wanted to know you better so I invited you to song write with me. Then I found out how good you were and how compatible we were and I started to fall in love with you. That is the only time that has happened to me, I had someone I was in love with and we built that off a really solid friendship base and now what we have is a really solid love."

"But the thing that I didn't understand was that you and I who made that love neither of us are perfect. That's what we need to understand. We will both make mistakes. Me, because I knew nothing about love, but you as well, because all your relationships ended in pain. And we did make mistakes like the Wentworths. Like when I turned up at your apartment to tell you I loved you and you were with Scarlett. But those things were corrected and our love ultimately was the reason. You realized you loved me and not Scarlett, I realized I loved you and I didn't want to be involved with Wentworth. Our love just developed and became stronger from there. We need to understand that despite our mistakes our love is the true constant and together we can overcome anything."

"That's what went wrong with that BMI party business…We didn't believe in each other. If I wasn't weak I would have known you loved me and you'd come to me. You would have known I would not have been angry and you would have come to me. Then that incident would never have occurred

We both made mistakes and now they need to be resolved. One choice could be to break up. We already tried that for four weeks and it was too painful. How do you think it would be if it were for life? But should we each get a life sentence for this? You don't even get that much for murder. That seems a little severe for this. No I don't think that is the answer. I suppose we could be angry for the consequences of our mistakes but that misses the point. The consequences were not the problem, they were the result. No, we need to correct what caused the mistakes in the first place.

"Don't you see, what happened at the party doesn't matter. The arguments we had breaking up, don't matter. They were only the consequences. We lost faith in our love, that was the mistake. That is the lesson we need to understand. We need to be stronger, we need to trust and believe in each other. That is what we are supposed to do with this love we have. That's all it's for. The truth is, we are inevitable. We are meant to exist together and the proof of that is the pain we suffered when we were apart."

Something in the recesses occurred to Avery on the exact same subject. "Since you like quotes here's one by Gary Zukav for you as well, "You will come to understand that love heals everything, and love is all there is." That says everything you have been saying. I can see what you mean. You have presented a jolting reality but it's all true. This is such a change from where we were a couple of hours ago. I'm going to need time to adjust to this, to take it in. I think I need to sleep on it."

"I hope by sleeping on it you intend to do that here."

"Is that an invitation?"

"Yes."

"OK but I do have a condition."

"What's that?" She raised an eyebrow and looked at him on an angle.

"That sleeping and cuddling idea, I really like the sound of that for

tonight.

"That's fine," Juliette said, "but I want you here tomorrow night as well. Then you are going to need all those bedroom skills you are so good at and I'm going to need those intense feelings you always give me when we both completely lose it all. We are going to have some major workouts.

"I love the idea you are into indoor sports," he smiled.

"In fact now that I think about it I want you here for a lot of nights like…all of them," Juliette smiled

Next morning he was on his back with an arm under Juliette's neck. Her head rested in the crook of his shoulder. He lay there, absently twirling her hair through his fingers while he thought about her theory on their love. He'd been doing that for a couple of hours. He had come to the conclusion that she was right. They were inevitable she said, that was a good way to describe them. They were meant to be together, it hurt too much to be apart. He remembered how he suffered those few weeks they were broken up. Then the relief he felt from just talking to her on the phone even though he still had demons haunting him over Fordham. Yes! She was right but how to consolidate what they have so they never have those doubts again?

She awoke with a long "Hmmm. What a fantastic night." She turned her head and kissed him full on the lips. He returned her kiss with equal tenderness. Yes! She said to herself. He is back, we are back."

She was about to take the bit between her teeth and tell her news. This seemed a perfect time to tell him about the baby, but he started talking first.

"What do you think about hyphenated names," he asked her.

"What?"

"Hyphenated names. You know like the actor Daniel Day-Lewis. I've always thought they sounded classy. Like Camilla Parker-Bowles that woman who married Prince Charles of England. Or you can have American ones like Hilary Rodham-Clinton there's another one. Of course there are super classy ones like Juliette Barnes-Barkley"

She was thinking about how she would tell him she's pregnant. "Yes, Yes," she said absently," I suppose if you like that kind of thin…What did you say?" She sat bolt upright.

"I said I particularly like Juliette Barnes-Barkley. I thought that was really good."

"Avery, is that some kind of a proposal?"

"Yes it was but I wanted to just test the water so to speak. So I had an out if the response was negative."

"Oh, I can assure you most emphatically…the response is definitely not negative. But I need to tell you something really important. I couldn't tell you earlier because we weren't talking but now you need to know.

"OK," he said, "I'm all ears."

"I'm pregnant. Avery, you're going to be a daddy."

"A daddy, wow, I've got to let that sink in"

Juliette suddenly felt nauseous and headed for the bathroom.

When she returned he said, "You've got the whole lot haven't you? Even morning sickness. So…a daddy huh? Yep, I can do this. I reckon we will be great parents. How do you feel about the mommy idea?"

"I feel fantastic about it now. I was worried what you might say but now I am so happy."

"That's great, so this marriage idea, you are still in favor of it?"

"Oh am I?" She showered him with kisses

"Alright sleepy," he kissed her tenderly, "time to rise and shine. We need to go shopping for an engagement ring."

"Yes. Avery, I know you haven't worked for a month. I want you to know I really don't mind buying my own ring."

"Oh really, do you have anything in mind?"

"Nothing gaudy. They just look like a brick on your hand. No I'm pretty small and I have small hands so I would something that balances that out maybe a really nice solitaire seems like a good place to start."

"You got a budget in mind?"

"I don't want you to get offended because I am really happy to buy my own. I'm guessing between ten and fifteen thousand. I know you don't have that but I'm good. Just knowing we are getting married is enough for me."

"Alright, now first you don't have to buy your own ring. I'll take care of that. The only stipulation is a budget limit of thirty thousand. How does that suit you?"

"Avery, we both know you don't have thirty thousand dollars, let me buy it."

"Everything is under control. You might as well know. I'm going to bill Rayna for a commission on that three million dollar increase I arranged. It's all perfectly legit. That is going to buy your ring."

"What if she says no."

"I just saved her Company. Saying no would not be the best way to get me to continue my input. She won't say no."

Avery drove them to the largest jewelry store in Nashville. "Now you make a start. I need some fresh clothes and do a couple of other things. I'll be back in an hour."

Avery changed into his fresh clothes and went direct to Highway 65.

Mike had the reports ready when he arrived. He went though what Mike needed to action for the day.

"Rayna, got a minute?" He poked his head into Rayna's office.

"Avery," she had a huge smile on her face. "How did you do that? You were right, that loan was killing us. We needed over a hundred thousand dollars a month just to make the payments on it. I have Bucky setting up auditions and demos. Now that we have some cash flow I have a number of artists we need to check out to expand the label."

"Talking about cash flow Rayna. I'm going to have to bill you for an agent's commission for that new three million dollar increase from yesterday."

"Commission?"

"Yes, its standard practice but I'm going to give you bargain basement rates. Usually this could run you around five percent. But I have a project I'm working on so one percent will be enough. That's thirty thousand. You happy with that?

"Yes I am. Irrespective of anything you have just saved this company. That's a small price to pay."

"Well at least you can take comfort that unless I have a special requirement like today you will not need to pay me very much at all until the cash flow can stand it. Right now though, you have made someone very happy. I'll see you early tomorrow. I'll be sticking my nose in on a pretty much daily basis before working on that album with Juliette."

Back at the jewelry store Avery saw Juliette surrounded with about six trays of rings. "Getting any closer to a choice?"

"I've got it down to three but I need help. Let me try them on, you tell me what you like."

"The first one," he said. "That's perfect, just the right size for your hand and it's a beautiful diamond."

"That's my favorite as well but I was a little worried about the price for you. It's twenty seven and a half thousand."

"Fine, we'll take it," Avery said and handed the saleswoman the Highway 65 card.

"Just a minute," he said taking the ring from the saleswoman. He dropped to one knee, took Juliette's hand and said, "Juliette Barnes, I love you beyond anything. Would you make me sublimely happy and agree to be my wife?"

With a small laugh, she dropped to his level and kissed him all over his face.


End file.
